OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
