Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
