He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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