just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
honey bunches of taint.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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