I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
