I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize