Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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