Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
