she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize