dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
