Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize