I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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