Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
