dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Someone shattered a urinal.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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