He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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