Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
