my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You need Xanax blowdarts
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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