you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
