oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
