i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
