oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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