So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
