you would pick up someone in the library
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize