ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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