Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
