It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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