i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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