i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
