well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
