Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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