doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
