i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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