are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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