You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
