Me. At least after what I've been through.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
