I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
