We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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