Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
