Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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