We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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