the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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