So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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