Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I CAN MOONWALK!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
