That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
