This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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