She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
