I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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