Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
