I got chris browned last night
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
