Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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