I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
