Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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