She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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