I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
