My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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