I cockslap morals
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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