literally had 100 drinks last night.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
