But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
