sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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