He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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